Four Ways To Dip Your Toes into Independent Meaningful Learning

Parenting Needs

Three Things I Wish I Knew When I Started

After switching to unschooling, Ashley and her family embraced a flexible, passion-led learning path.

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Observations

Where to start? Get curious – and observe

Spend time observing your children to help identify what brings them joy. Watch to see what activities they enjoy participating in, and then get curious to figure out what it is about those activities that your young people enjoy. Do they enjoy interacting with others? Do they enjoy playing alone? Do they like to build? Design? Disassemble? Do they enjoy moving their bodies or do they prefer staying in the same place? The more curious you become, the more you’re able to learn about what truly brings your young person joy AND then you can begin to work on ways to support them in pursuing these things more often.

Look for ways your children are learning on their own time

Because many of us are accustomed to thinking about learning as something that happens in a school building when teachers pass knowledge down to students, reimagining learning allows us to expand this definition and opens us up to a whole new world. Once we start looking to see how learning happens outside of the walls of a school building, we see that our young people are learning as they play with their friends, help us cook, watch their favorite tv shows, interact with friends on the playground, or during a trip to the grocery store. In short, learning is always happening. Not only are our young people constantly presented with opportunities to learn the basics (how to read, how to count, how things work), but they are also learning other skills that will be useful in life such as problem-solving, conflict resolution, and skills that allow them to create boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.

Practice consent within your family

Many of us were not raised by adults who actively practiced consent. Our parents told us what to wear, when to eat, and when to sleep without allowing us to participate in these decisions. Our teachers told us what to learn, when we could eat and use the bathroom, and doled out consequences when we didn’t do these things as directed. Our doctors and dentists handled our bodies without our consent, oftentimes disregarding our comfort and our desires. This can look like young people being able to decide when they’ve had enough to eat, even if there is food left on the plate. It can look like doctors explaining what they are about to do during an examination and asking the young person if they can proceed. It can look like grandma asking for a hug, and allowing the child to say “no” if they don’t feel like giving a hug at that moment. Even if you aren’t in a space where you can give your young person full control over their learning, you can begin the process of giving them control over their bodies by practicing consent within your family.

Let your child lead

One way to help ease young people into the responsibility of being able to direct their own learning is to allow them to take the lead in other areas of their lives first. Maybe they get to decide what tasks need to happen as a part of their morning routine, and in what order they should be completed. Maybe they are able to negotiate a new bedtime by discussing pros and cons of being able to stay up later. Maybe they are able to take a more active role in helping out around the house—with cooking, cleaning, or caring for other family members. Helping young people build their personal leadership skills outside of learning can help build their confidence and make the transition to unschooling much smoother.